


so what if no one is saved

by lethnie



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25714753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethnie/pseuds/lethnie
Summary: Post 7x10. Daisy is trying to cope with everything that has been happening to her - and it's just too much.
Relationships: Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	so what if no one is saved

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in like ten years and first ever in English so I am sorry for everything. I'm sharing it just in case someone else needs to process 7x10 the same way as I do.  
> The title is from the song "The Sword & The Pen" by Regina Spektor. I really love this song, it's good for thinking about your OTPs and crying.

is this some kind of joke, it must be, it must look hilarious to an outsider - to see all those things happen to one person; or is this just a very, very bad dream, and in a couple of seconds there'll be that stupid healing pod again in that stupid timeloop, and honestly it would be a blessing; in retrospect, it wasn't all that bad, being stuck there with people you can trust now looks like a holiday, except for one quite creepy murder subplot and a huge weight of unspoken guilt - oh, Enoch, no time to explain, please die for us, be a good robot friend to our _family_ that is going to fall apart anyway; "your friends will survive", not "you and your friends" - so is that it? - is this the way I die, just disappear out of existence any moment now, whenever the universe decides it's time, whenever it's obvious that I just can't feel any more pain and there's no point in continuing this torture, making me watch everyone around die again and again, just as Coulson said, as if it's not what happens to _me_ ; is it too much to ask - just - just for once - not to lose someone, not to _lose_ , just a moment of peace, something _nice_ \- something nice that is not being wiped out of existence by the new turn of the timeloop - just like me here, oh the irony; if - if Deke had just obeyed my order, if he had shot that bastard when he had the chance, we would've ended up in a much better world, very different from our original timeline - as if it is a bad thing - but there is no way to get back to the original timeline now anyway, is there, our timeline is completely fucked, so I was right back there to give that order, it was the right decision after all, if only

"Daisy?"

She shakes her head.

don't tell me you're sorry, don't ask how I am, don't ask anything, just

"Okay."

Daisy is finally able to take a breath.

Sousa sits on the floor next to her; they are in one of the smaller labs hidden in the labyrinths of the Lighthouse - how did he even find her, well he was a good agent after all.

He is. Very much alive, although he isn't supposed to be. He's not too close but she can feel his warmth, a subtle confirmation that she is still real too.

Perhaps Simmons could've explained it, but she's gone now,  
but on the other hand it's okay, it's safer this way, the universe won't let her die without making me watch, right? how do you handle all this pain, all the anger that could easily destroy the whole world right now, and since we are actually walking down the memory lane with this mission then why not live up to your reputation from twice cancelled apocalyptic future while being stuck in even more hopelessly apocalyptic past?

Another breath.

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even look at her now, leaving her space to be, he's just sitting there. He knows something about losing people too.

He knows something about dying also.

There is guilt for not being entirely honest with the most honest person she's ever met, but she hasn't had the time to address what happened during the timeloop. She hasn't had the time to even think about it, and now it doesn't matter anyway.

"Can you do something for me?" she echoes her own words from the loop, trying to restore bit by bit a sense of control over herself, failing.

"Of course," he turns his head towards her, concerned and slightly relieved at the same time. "What do you need?"

Don't die? Don't die for me? Don't die for me _again_?

She doesn't say anything.


End file.
